why do i work the way i work?

Today was a terribly good day: I worked with few distractions, managed to be productive and am very content of the result. Let's hope tomorrow (maybe the next month?) will be the same!

The problem is, you see, I am working to introduce an intern to some analyses we are doing. Not only is it unrelated to my actual work, but it's also rather voluntary. And yet, I am compiling information, running analyses and writing a tutorial so I can be best prepared on monday and help the poor fella understand something which took me years to grasp. And it did not take me so long to understand it, because it was too difficult. Rather, it's something I ignored for a long time, because there has always been a way around it. In fact, for years now, people have been programming scripts to run these analyses automatically and as long as you have the skills or know someone who can write one for you, there is no reason to invest that much time in understanding the mechanics behind it (after all there are tons of other relevant stuff to do).

So, in the end, the tutorial I have written will never be of any use to anyone. Maybe only for demonstration purposes for interns? But whenever the interns will actually start analyzing, they will use the automatized script files.

I think this attitude of mine that became evident during the last few days pretty much explains a lot of things in my life. No, I'm not excessiveley kind or diligent or anything. I just seem to be doing small things for the sake of getting them done. I am certain it's not productive on the long run, but something deep inside me tells me "you did a good job". Maybe it's just a way of deceiving myself. Or maybe not. Maybe that's what actually matters to me. We are our sole constant companions and in the end, when we are old, it is still ourselves that we will be stuck with.

photo by ppimm

Update: 23.10.2013
Years later, interns and students still come to me and thank me for my tutorials. Thank you time, for proving my point ;)